“Relationship goals?”

So what exactly are “relationship goals?”

To be completely honest, I’m not sure. And to be even more honest, I’m definitely not the most qualified person to be answering this question. But I’ll take this opportunity to voice my thoughts anyway.

So I have this friend, let’s call her Sheila. Sheila isn’t officially in a relationship right now, but she has a very obvious “thing” with this guy, (let’s call him Gary). So Sheila and Gary have had this chemistry going on between them for awhile now, but they only recently became an unofficial item about two months ago. And even though they’re “unofficial,” the way they act with each other is about as official as any romantic high school relationship gets. And I’m talking constantly texting and snapchatting each other, getting jealous over the other person’s friends of the opposite gender, trying to secretly organize meet ups because neither of their parents approve, and all that other drama in between. Now, of course it IS cute when the two lovebirds are unable to spend any time apart from each other…right?

NO! Of course that’s not cute! That’s not healthy either, and that’s definitely not “relationship goals.” I don’t mean to sound like a lonely forever alone love-hater, but in what world is that kind of attachment okay? I mean, of course wanting someone’s attention is fine, to a certain extent, but being unable to go a few hours without talking to someone is simply not acceptable. In my opinion, a healthy and successful relationship is where both parties have their own independent lives and are able to respect the fact that their partner has other responsibilities, but in the end they are still able to find some time everyday to set aside their work and pay attention to each other. Because it doesn’t matter how much you love the company of someone; if you spend 100% of your time with him or her then you will for sure get bored of them eventually. Half the fun in interacting with someone is being able to learn new information about them, but how are you supposed to do that if you already know everything?

Is this just me with this kind of mindset? Because I feel like these days any relationship where the couple is 110% obsessed with each other is considered “relationship goals.” For me personally, I’m attracted to ambition. A guy that has goals in life and a successful future in mind that he’s ready to work to achieve is so attractive. Maybe this is why I don’t want an obsessively involved relationship? All I know is that I want a relationship where the guy has a life and is able to understand that I have a life as well, but at the same time still wants to spend time together. I mean, of course I want to spend a significant amount of time with him, but I also love my life and don’t want to destroy every other part of it trying to dedicate all my time towards a guy, no matter how perfect he appears to be.

So I think my definition of “relationship goals” is each of us going through the hustle and bustle of daily life and texting or calling for a short time a couple times during the day, and then meeting up later in the evening for a few hours to either relax and just enjoy each other’s company, or go out together and do something fun.

Uncharted Territory

Hey guys!

So today’s post is going to analyze the answer to a question that everyone faces sometime in their life:

When should you be sure about what you want to do with your life?

This is a question I find myself thinking about very often. I’m still very young to be seriously concerned about it, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about my future. I’m a very optimistic person, but at the same time I’m a huge worrier. I basically stress about stress even before there’s stress to stress about. So naturally, I worry a lot about the fact that I’m still not sure about what kind of career path I want to take. Up until a few months ago, I was 100% set on the idea of wanting to go into the medical field and study to become a pediatrician. But then I had a sudden realization: I’m actually not interested in anything a doctor deals with in their everyday job. Like what kind of doctor isn’t interested in biology? THAT’S LITERALLY WHAT A DOCTOR’S JOB IS ALL ABOUT. And that led me to thinking…If I’m not going to be a doctor, what else is there for me to be?

The answer to that might seem very simple, I mean there’s so many good jobs out there besides a doctor. Engineer? Architect? Lawyer? Fashion designer? But the thing is, I’ve been dreaming about being a doctor literally my whole life. Ever since I was younger, my whole family saw me as a future doctor and nothing else. So as a result, I couldn’t even imagine being anything else. I had been so blinded by how successful I would be if I was a doctor that I hadn’t even stopped to think about what exactly a doctor has to do. What a student has to study to go into the medical field and just how much hard work it requires to finally get there. And then after all these years spent dreaming about my future as a pediatrician living in a huge house with a loving family, I finally asked myself – Do I really have what it takes to become a doctor? Yes of course I do, anyone can achieve anything if they put their mind to it. But the thing is, do I have the ambition to actually put my mind to it? Do I have enough motivation to get through all those years of medical school? Am I really that inspired to where I can make it out alive and end up happy with my job? And happy not because of how much money I’m making, but because of what I’m actually going to work everyday and doing?

Well, when you put it like that…no. I don’t think so. But if not doctor, what else? Sure, I’ve thought about other career options, but nothing is set in stone. In fact, not even close to set in stone. Honestly, I don’t even know what it is that I want to set in stone.

See, I’m a confident girl. Like I’m perfectly fine with the way I look and act in front of both myself and the general public. I embrace who I am and I’m comfortable in my own skin. BUT at the same time, there are certain aspects about either myself or my life that I’m somewhat insecure about. And my future career plans are like 95% of those aspects.

But the thing is, I’m happy with my life. Yes, I’m nervous about being unsure about my future, but that doesn’t bother me to the point of affecting my current performance. I mean there are plenty of times late at night when I’m lying in bed staring up at the ceiling and trapped with only my thoughts about my life goals. But I still wake up the next morning ready to take on the world and perfectly content with where I am and what I’m doing with my life. (At least that’s the case most days, I mean everyone has days where all they want to do is sit in bed and watch Friends reruns for ten hours).

The point is, right now I’m not sure what exactly I want to do with my life but I’m okay with that. I’m fine with not knowing because what I do know is that as long as I do what makes me happy and I make the most of the opportunities I come across in my life right now, I’ll end up just fine in the future.

But there are some people out there who seem to have it all figured out. They know exactly what they want out of life and exactly how they’re going to get it. They’re extremely confident about both their present and future and feel that they’re playing their cards perfectly right now and therefore their future will be filled with nothing but success in all areas of life. And that’s great, like I don’t have a problem with ambitious people who must be doing something right if they are that certain about their future. However, I do have a problem when those ambitious people come over into my life and try to “fix” it. Just because I’m not sure about what I want to do with my life doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me. It’s only a real problem when not being sure starts to affect your health and motivation to continue exploring life. I know it’s all done with good intentions, but others should understand that it’s my life and it’s my job to learn from the mistakes I make. How else will I know what decisions to avoid making in the future if I don’t learn from the prior failed results? Sometimes stepping back and allowing someone to figure out the important lessons in life on their own is the best way you can help them in the long run.

So getting back to the original question – when should you be sure about what you want to do with your life? There’s no right answer. Everyone figures out what they want to do and where they want to go in life at their own time. Whether you’re sure about what kind of career you want to pursue at five years old or you finally figure it out at 30, just know that things change. You can never predict what the future will hold for you and getting caught up in not knowing will only cause unnecessary stress. The best thing you can do right now if you’re not sure is go outside and explore the different career paths. Sure, you might not know exactly what you want to pursue, but I’m sure you have interests. Embrace them! There’s plenty of opportunities to learn about the world around you so you should do you’re best to seize them and take charge of your life right now so you’ll have an optimistic mindset for the future.

So basically, you’re not alone if you don’t know what you want to do. In fact, far from it. But just know that one day you’ll figure it out so just make the most of your life right now. Do what makes you happy and slay at whatever that is.

Until next time!

Drama Queen Rant (DQR) Series

Hey guys!

So I figured since I won’t get much time to write really long detailed posts AND I’m an overdramatic person that easily gets pissed at least 100 times a day, I’ll combine the two and make a series of short but passionate rants about how sometimes when life gives you lemons, you’ll try to make lemonade but then end up with mango pie. (Just pretend that made sense)

So yep, first DQR hopefully coming soon!

This Loser is Back Again?

WELL HEY THERE guess who’s back? ME. I’M BACK. ME. THAT’S RIGHT. ME.

So it’s been awhile, hasn’t it? Like a LONG LONG while. I’m still the same me, well actually, I’m a SIMILAR me. Not the same, not at all. So the last time I wrote a post on here was almost TWO YEARS AGO DAMN. Well a lot has changed since then – I mean what person is the same as they were two years ago? Like I’m not even the same person I was yesterday, forget two years.

So anyway, this post was just to let you know that I’m back and (thankfully) better than before. So yeah..I’m pretty busy now, but when I get time (and find the motivation) to sit down and write a blog post, I will.

So look forward to that!