“Relationship goals?”

So what exactly are “relationship goals?”

To be completely honest, I’m not sure. And to be even more honest, I’m definitely not the most qualified person to be answering this question. But I’ll take this opportunity to voice my thoughts anyway.

So I have this friend, let’s call her Sheila. Sheila isn’t officially in a relationship right now, but she has a very obvious “thing” with this guy, (let’s call him Gary). So Sheila and Gary have had this chemistry going on between them for awhile now, but they only recently became an unofficial item about two months ago. And even though they’re “unofficial,” the way they act with each other is about as official as any romantic high school relationship gets. And I’m talking constantly texting and snapchatting each other, getting jealous over the other person’s friends of the opposite gender, trying to secretly organize meet ups because neither of their parents approve, and all that other drama in between. Now, of course it IS cute when the two lovebirds are unable to spend any time apart from each other…right?

NO! Of course that’s not cute! That’s not healthy either, and that’s definitely not “relationship goals.” I don’t mean to sound like a lonely forever alone love-hater, but in what world is that kind of attachment okay? I mean, of course wanting someone’s attention is fine, to a certain extent, but being unable to go a few hours without talking to someone is simply not acceptable. In my opinion, a healthy and successful relationship is where both parties have their own independent lives and are able to respect the fact that their partner has other responsibilities, but in the end they are still able to find some time everyday to set aside their work and pay attention to each other. Because it doesn’t matter how much you love the company of someone; if you spend 100% of your time with him or her then you will for sure get bored of them eventually. Half the fun in interacting with someone is being able to learn new information about them, but how are you supposed to do that if you already know everything?

Is this just me with this kind of mindset? Because I feel like these days any relationship where the couple is 110% obsessed with each other is considered “relationship goals.” For me personally, I’m attracted to ambition. A guy that has goals in life and a successful future in mind that he’s ready to work to achieve is so attractive. Maybe this is why I don’t want an obsessively involved relationship? All I know is that I want a relationship where the guy has a life and is able to understand that I have a life as well, but at the same time still wants to spend time together. I mean, of course I want to spend a significant amount of time with him, but I also love my life and don’t want to destroy every other part of it trying to dedicate all my time towards a guy, no matter how perfect he appears to be.

So I think my definition of “relationship goals” is each of us going through the hustle and bustle of daily life and texting or calling for a short time a couple times during the day, and then meeting up later in the evening for a few hours to either relax and just enjoy each other’s company, or go out together and do something fun.

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